Well, it has been a very long time since I have written on this, and I'm pretty sure its not a popular place to get information, but it could be cool to just vent and write thoughts out and if someone feels like reading it then so be it, and if not, no worries...

A lot has changed and transitions have been affecting my life a ton. From relationships, to locations, to vocation, a lot has changed and I find myself trying to catch up with changes that are already happening.

I have talked to a lot a friends from college, and things just seem to be a lot different out of college than in. (duh), but it is a lot more profound than that. The community that you find yourself in 27-7 is now gone and the community that you are now in is nothing like the one that you left. Common ground and understanding is something that needs to be searched for and pursued instead of just living in it. I guess you could coin it "convenient community" is lost and all of the new community is deliberate and way more pursued.

Community is something that we are all apart of, and it is something that we all need. We are created for community, we are created for relationship, and different ones come with different chapters of life.

I guess when everything changes, and people are put into a place that is like home, they run to the places that they know are safe, the go back to what they know...

For me, it is beyond comforting to know that I can run to people who know me, I can run to a savior who knows me know and would still die for me.

All in all, this isn't something to making you think all deep, it is more of a reminder that it is natural to want to be in community, and that the greatest community that you can ever have is with Jesus.

Blessings.

Legacy

My grandfather passed away recently, and if there is any experience that makes someone think about things, it is death.

Death brings a reality close... 

Death makes you realize... well... you.

You will die, it is going to happen, and you are faced with the fact that you will not be here forever.  

My grandfather was a great man.  His service to Christ and to people was something that I did not know a ton about before now. (I was adopted at birth, this was the grandfather on my biological mom's side).  Some would day that he died young (60's), and others would say that he lived a full life; but I was amazed by the legacy that he was leaving.

His memorial service was amazing.  It was a celebration, full of music, laughter, stories, worship, tears, memories, and truth.  

He was a man, by just going to his funeral, you wanted to meet, know, and experience.  I found myself smiling and laughing at the stories, the memories, and being in awe of the person that my grandfather was.  It was amazing.

I have been to funerals before.

I have experienced death before, but not like this.  

It was a life celebrated.  Joy, Comfort, Peace are all things that could be used to describe the mood, the day, the feel.  

He lived his life for Christ, and it was so apparent.

Across the barriers of time, of culture, of skin color, states and countries, age differences, and different beliefs; it was all for Christ.  

It was amazing...

people gathered to remember, mourn, cry and embrace, but at the end of the day, after all of the planning and talking, walking, tears, hugs, and prayers had happened.  The whole experience left me doing one thing.

Looking up.

So many funerals, memorials, deaths, leave us looking down, remembering, heads held low, watching the loved one go into the ground. 

But I, (and I would like to think, others) was left looking up.  Thinking about the place, the person, the experience that my grandfather was having.

The God he was meeting.

The perfection he was witnessing.

The embrace that he was feeling.

The God that was loving.

Because even in death, he pointed up.  He pointed people to Christ.  

Legacy...

what do you want to leave behind?

People missing you, good and bad memories, money for you family, a "complete" life, people looking down?

I hope

I pray

I want

I desire

that when I am gone people will look up, to Him...

That is a legacy worth leaving...

The Miracle

What would my miracle be?  Is it something that I desire to make my life better?  Is it right or good or just?  

Miracles are interesting things... Christians believe that they happened in the Bible and that Jesus did a lot of miracles, and during the Christmas season, we are reminded that Jesus did not only do miracles, he came as one, and to all of us, and defiantly to Mary.  

Most of the time when I think about Miracles, I think about something that some wants with all their heart, a new job, a baby, a wife or husband, a cure for cancer, health, peace, wealth, fame, healing, knowledge, wisdom... there are so many things that we want and some of them are great thing to want, but it is interesting that Jesus did not come in a way that most people wanted...

He came in a way that was necessarily, it was what the fallen world need, not necessarily what the fallen world wanted.  The Miracle that Mary experienced was not something that made her life a lot easier or better, but it was something that gave her a glimpse of God, a piece of something that, to be honest, is not at the top of all miracle lists... 

I read on another blog something that was really interesting to me: "Maybe thats why Christmas in our malls, our streets, and our living rooms has about as much to do with Christmas as a wax museum has to do with real life - it is inert, artificial, superficial, and incomplete."

That quote made me think a lot.  

I mean, I love Christmas, I love it a lot, but do I love the right things for the right reasons, or do I just like gifts, good music (the old, old, old stuff), how most people put on the mask of happiness and joy, or do I love it because of Jesus...

Would I love Christmas just as much if Jesus had absolutely nothing to do with it?  Would I still get happy, and love the season?  

I guess what I'm getting at is, that I feel more convicted on this Christmas Eve then I feel joy...

I do not love Christmas for the sole reason that Jesus came today, and that bothers me...

If, as a Christian, I talk about love and Jesus, and being a follower of Him, not just a believer, then there is something missing, something gone from there...

Jesus is the reason for the season...

But is He the reason for our joy, for our celebration, for our life?

He should be...

Desires...

What do we desire? 

What do we really want?

I think about this question... and to be completely honest, it makes me a little uncomfortable.  

I mean, if we really think about it, what do we desire?

If someone was to walk up to me on the street and ask me this, what would I say?  I would say, I would desire snow on Christmas, I desire to finish school soon, I desire to be a good person... are those good answers?

Well, I don't think so.  What I am getting at here, is what do we desire, what do we want, and if we call ourselves Christians, is our desire biblical?  Mine, the ones right above this paragraph, are not.  You can change the question, or even ask the question in a different context and get different answers; that is NOT good.  Honestly?  Do we really think that we desire right things, do we really think that we are "good people?"  God is the only one that is good, he is the only one that can do good things, and we are only capable of doing good things with him doing good things through us... what do I desire?  Here is the change, what should I desire?

I should desire Christ.  

That is it.

I should desire Jesus, knowing him, experiencing Him, loving Him.  My heart should be going out for Him and Him alone.  I should love him so much that if someone walked up to me on the street and asked me the questions of what do you desire... I would answer a few things:

I want to be with Christ above all things...

I want to live or die for him, today, now, here...

I want you to know him, before you know anything else, i want you to know him...

Not because i think that I am better for you, but I want you to know him because of the love that he gives me and the love that I give him... I want you to know him so that you will know a love that is better than life...

better than life, better than breath, better than A+, better than Christmas bonus, better than any girlfriend, better than any boyfriend, better than any family, better than any life, because he is better, he is IT, he is the reason I live and breath, He is the reason I answer this question this way, He is the reason that I live my life this way, He is the reason I am, and I need to desire to be like him...

Desire, it should consume me more than anything else, more than my desire for a good life, for the american dream, for being safe, for anything else, it should be Him.  Jesus.  Thats it.  So here is my question...

What do we desire?

more thoughts

Homosexuality is on the forefront of a lot of Christian and Non-Christian minds.  It is topic that can divide friends, divide family, divides non-Christians, and it divides Christians as well.  This is the hot topic of our time, and the Christians need men and women on the forefront of this discussion that bring the truth in love.  That are educated on the subject, that represent the truth of Christ well, and again, speak the truth in love.  In my opinion, these people exist and there is a large opposition on the other side.  The other side is out for blood, they are out for change and it is a change that will start a society down a track that it is not prepared for.  The acceptance, the legalization of homosexual marriage will not only change marriage, it will change culture.  Before we get started on that, there are a few things that we are Christians need to understand.

            Romans 3:23 tells us that all fall short of the glory of God.  All people, all denominations, all sinners, we all fall short of the glory of God.  There is not one of us, not one pastor, not one president, not one person that is even close to the same level as the glory of God.  Now I know that this is going to bother some people, so I am going to preface with this statement.  Jesus Christ forgives all sins, of all people who are called to him and ask for His forgiveness, he can make ANY person clean and any time.  With that being said, and with the fact stated that we all fall short of the glory of God, I want to say this: Homosexuality is NOT the end-all or be-all of sin.  It is a sin.  But so is lust, stealing, divorce, and even idolatry.  The homosexual in the pew is just as fallen as the one sitting next to them that has had their second divorce.  Because of the power of the governments magnified glass, we are able to see that homosexuality is easily in the spotlight and is being painted as this sin of all sins, when in truth sexual sin is bad, but not just homosexual sin, all sexual sin.  Again, homosexuality is a sin, but we cannot have this one lens that only focuses on one sin at one time.  We need to recognize, as Christians, that God hates homosexuality as much as he hates the person that puts anything in front of him.  There needs to be balance in the way that we deal with sin.  If we are willing to go out and picket against the destruction of marriage, then we are picketing against lust, porn, homosexuality, adultery, and divorce; just to mention a few.  The battle does need to be fought, but we need to know exactly what we are fighting, and we need to abide by the rules given to us to fight by the heavenly father. 

            Ephesians 4:14-16 gives us as Christians, the rules of which we are to fight by.  In summary, it says that we are to speak the truth in love.  This is a different rule form that our opponents have to or will play by.  Speaking the truth means that we are not able or allowed to bend the facts in our favor.  We need to be able to see the truth for what the truth really is.  We need to read the studies on homosexuality with the mindset that we are going to teach the truth of the study, not the truth that we want from that study.  We need to teach the truth about homosexuality, which implies that we know the truth about homosexuality.  We need to care about the things that happen to people that are practicing homosexuality, and we need to be up to date on the studies and new findings in that field.  It also means that we do need to teach the truth of what sin does to all people who do sin.  We need to teach the seriousness of its consequences, and what it means when we sin.  The last things we need to do in the truth aspect is know that not all people are going to be changed by us just quoting what may be true, what may be factual and in all cases may be right, but we need to trust the change to come from the Holy Spirit and know that all truth is God’s truth.  The final and maybe the most important part of this passage is the love.  Love is something that cannot be faked, it is something that cannot be just manufactured or put in a study with facts.  Love is something that comes form a heart that truly cares about all people, all people that sin, all people that fall short.  It begs the questions of what do we love?  Do we love the idea of being right and just trying to keep the United States a place where “Christianity” rules?  It seems like to me that most of the Christians that I come in contact with are more fearful about homosexual marriage, then having a broken heart for these people.  That is the major difference between Christians and Christ.  Jesus truly did love these people.  It broke and breaks His heart when people sin and turn against Him.  If all Christians had even a peace of love that Christ showed all people, the United States, the world even would be a very different looking place.  Are we passing legislation to keep some morality in a nation that almost has none?  This is NOT saying that God cannot work through government, and that it is bad to have laws and government.  What this is saying that we need to chose what we legislate wisely, just as much as we make decisions in our own life wisely. 

            I guess what I am saying is that I do agree that homosexuality is a sin.  I do think that there are horrible outcomes from the practices totally apart from bible verses, and it is a growing pain in my heart for the people that give into this practice in their lives.  But I also know truth and love, and people that can actually experience the life and truth and joy from Christ.  Just because I have the stance of homosexuality as sin, I am now viewed a full of hate, discrimination, and intolerance.  I hate that I am labeled that way, and I plan on showing that I do not just shun people for sinning, I do NOT condemn them for their sin.  That is not my place.  I am just as falling and sinful and anyone, and grace and forgiveness is needed in my heart as well. 

            I want my heart to be heard and not just the stance that I come from.  I do not think homosexuality can be taken at face value, I do not think that it is something that can just be changed or solved overnight (although God can really do anything).  Sin is sin, and my view is coming to the point that hearts break because of sin.  It is not only you who you hurt, but the people around you, and the heavenly father who wants to take away your pain, not your fun. 

            With all that has been said, I am truly just calling out Christians to be like Christ.  Not to be the ones who just stand on a corner and preach truth without love.  Christ meet people where they were at, he confronted them with truth, but he also loved them, with all of his heart.  Do we love the people that we picket against?  Do we really show love to the people that hate us?  Are we following Christ, or are we just preaching one aspect of truth?  There needs to be a huge heart check on what is going on here.  In the Prop 8 campaign $300,000 dollars given to protect marriage, and how much money is given to support groups of people that are post-gay, or ones dieing of aids, living alone and dieing alone?  These are hard questions that we need to answer, and we need to speak truth, all of the truth, and all of it in love, real, genuine, from our heart love.

Homo or Hetero = ...